The Bored Virus

by Laitaine

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and all associated characters and places belong to MGM, Gekko, and DoubleSecret.  No infringement on trademarks and copyrights was intended.  This was written purely for entertainment and not for monetary gain.  Do not archive without permission and keep my name attached at all times.
Summary: Jack gets a virus.
Rating: PG
Content: Sam/Jack
Author's Notes: This is not one of my proudest moments, but here it is.
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Copyright © Laitaine 6th November 1999

Jack was bored.  It was official.  He was bored.

He had caught a mild bug on P9J474 yesterday and Doctor Fraiser had confined him to the infirmary for the next three days, although the bug was so mild that it was virtually over in 18 hours.

Jack wanted out.  Out of the infirmary, out of bed.  He wasn't even allowed to move from the bed and visitors were forbidden.  Above all, he missed Sam.

The door of his room was pushed open cautiously and Sam popped her head around the door.  Jack surmised that the virus had been declared non-contagious and visitors were now permitted.

"I'm awake, Sam," he told her and she moved more quickly then as there was no fear of waking him from healing sleep.

"I can see that, Jack.  You look bored."

"I feel like gouging my eyes out for something to do.  And you?"

"Doc released us this morning with a clean bill of health," Sam told him.  "She said there's no sign of the virus in any of us.  It was just you.  Although she is glad she kept us back, just to make sure."

"So you get to go home?"

"Yep."  Sam grinned at the sullen look on Jack's face. It clearly spoke his opinion on the fact that not only was he stuck in the infirmary but everyone else was going home so he wouldn't have company.

"But," Sam added, "We have to report any slight aches or queasiness or anything else that could possibly be a symptom of your mystery virus, which Doc. Fraiser has confirmed as non-contagious, by the way."

"I assumed as much.  I didn't think she'd let you in here otherwise."

"Actually, I'm not meant to be here.  She doesn't actually know I stopped by.  You were meant to be left undisturbed."

"I was going crazy in here.  There is nothing to do.  No one to talk to, no TV, no books.  All I could do was sit her and stare at the wall."

"That makes watching paint dry sound like fun," Sam giggled.

Jack smiled as Sam laughed.  Her presence made him a whole lot happier.  He was glad the virus was non-contagious so that she could be there with him.  Then a thought struck him.

"Wait a minute.  Back up.  Didn't you say that this virus in non-contagious?"


"Then how did I get it?"

Sam smiled and then she started to laugh and Jack knew he wasn't going to like the answer and suspected he knew where the answer lay.

"You remember how you walked into that branch?"  Sam tried to keep her laughter in check and Jack grimaced.

He had been right about the answer, unfortunately.  He remembered very clearly - he had been on the receiving end of many jokes and facetious remarks as a result.

"Yes, what about it?"  His tone was clipped.

"Well," Sam teased.  "That was a wholly unrelated incident it was just funny, and the look on your face was classic, and I thought I remind you.  Check that your mystery virus hasn't at all affected your memory."  She giggled again and Jack smiled in spite of himself.

"You are one evil lady, Sam Carter," he told her, starting to tickle her sides, but she dodged out of Jack's reach.

"But seriously, Jack.  It is related.  We figure that the sap from the branch that you got on your hand attracted an insect to land there, a virus-carrying insect.  The insect bit you and kindly shared it's virus with you."

"I hate bugs!" Jack groaned and it was only when Sam sarcastically commented 'Ha, ha!' that he realised the double entendre.

Sam settled down on the bed next to Jack again and he reached for her hand.

"Janet wants you to name the virus.  We decided that since you found it, you should name it, because we can't call it 'Jack's Mystery Virus'.  Especially in official reports."


"Reminds me of the 'Name of the Teddy' contests that people do as fundraisers."

"What?  Name the virus and you get to keep it!  No thanks."  Sam smiled, just as she always smiled when Jack made some sarcastic comment.

Jack was struck with an inspirational thought.  "I know!  How about 'The Bored Virus'?"

"Great name, Jack," Sam remarked sardonically, Jack's talent for sarcastic comments was rubbing off on her because she spent so much time in his company.  "Fabulous, brilliant.  You should get a medal for making up the best names for viruses..."

"Oh for crying out loud!"  Jack exclaimed, cutting her off.  "Shut up."

Sam smiled sexily.  "Make me."

Jack leaned over and kissed her lips softly.

"That the best you can do, Flyboy?" she teased.

Jack's response was halted by a yawn.

Sam lips curved into a soft smile.  "Go to sleep," she said, stroking his hair softly.  "You'll feel better for it."  She rose and dropped a kiss on his forehead.  "Sleep well."

Jack held tight to Sam's hand as she pulled away.  "Stay?"

Sam smiled and sat back down, content to watch her lover as he slept off the remains if the virus.

A few hours later, Janet Fraiser pushed the door open cautiously, as Sam had done earlier, not wanting to wake her sleeping patient.  She knew he was asleep because he had not made a nuisance of himself for a while.  He had been annoying her in an attempt to make her so tired of his presence and constant badgering that she would release him.  She was annoyed, but wasn't about to let him go.  She was very glad, however, that he was asleep.  It was a welcome break.

She was shocked to see two figures asleep on the bed as she went in to check on his readings.  She completed her task quickly, smiling as she went, leaving the two asleep in each other's arms.

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